Laughs and Rants from My Inner Child

We got in last night.  John called me at work yesterday and said, “What if we went tonight?”  We figured, we wouldn’t have to rush to set up and then go volunteer to help with tomorrow’s event.  It meant getting in later at night, but it was the perfect idea.

I did the shopping after dropping James, my friend and car pool buddy.  That led to the first aggravation: a woman who was done in the grocery cashout until she noticed she hadn’t gotten credit for one coupon.  That led to her going through her coupon wallet at least five times, and then tearing apart her bags to take the item out.  I was ready to throw the money down for the item myself when she finally left.  Then I get home and the thing that was supposed to be delivered wasn’t; postman said it wouldn’t go in the mailbox and instead of leaving it inside the door like they usually do, they’re making me pick it up.  I was livid.  That was a gift for my friend Dave and now it was all screwed up.  Plus, when I went to print a photo of it to put in the card at least, our printer was out of week.  By the time John got home, I was a raw nerve.  But he (and Kahlua & cream) got me calmed down.

After that, the only other “moment” was driving through Mullica Hill.  Even though I’ve been there with John and all these other people, all I could think about was when Mom and I lived there.  I saw a shopping center and imagined talking to her about it, then The Hilltop Diner in town where we had so many meals, and I broke into tears.  I haven’t cried like that since the first week.  Everything brought memories back and the big void that she’s not here.

John held my hand, and the dogs all tried to shove themselves in my lap, “kissing” away tears, but John said it was good to cry and let it out.  It was also the first time that I “talked” to her, just sending my thoughts out to her: I miss you so much.  I guess that’s a milestone, finally acknowledging that’s my only way to talk to her now.

The rest of the drive was uneventful; no traffic and a straight shot to here.  I actually fell asleep for a bit, so the credit goes to John.    I think we have the site that our friends Gary and Carol had last year; it slopes so leveling here is crazy!  But we made do and settled in, watched a little TV, read a bit, and got to sleep.

This morning, we did the couple of things we didn’t bother with last night like putting down the awning.  Dave and Becky called a little bit ago saying they’re on the road!

And I need caffeine!  I forgot to pack the coffee!