Laughs and Rants from My Inner Child

I send this out to my department each Friday; we do it for the laughs over how song lyrics can be really misheard.  I thought maybe some other people would enjoy it.

The first section gives 10 songs with what people THOUGHT were the lyrics.  They’re different styles of music and different decades, so some will very easy for you and others will be songs you never heard of.  Scroll down for the answers: they give you the song title, the artist, the real and misheard lyrics, and finally the story from the person who misheard it.

Quiz
(scroll down for the answers)

1. She’s a bar room fighter, tampon igniter
2. Swingin’ Logs in the backseat. I miss Alexandra once again and I think I’m in.
3. I’ve got this burnin’ burnin’ urine
4. You can bite your hair if it won’t grow. You can pick your nose if he says so.
5. Ride a painted toenail…
6. We didn’t fart, you liar.
7. Iraq, Iraq is far away
8. Take a gumball, and pass the water
9. A gathering of angles peeing above my head
10. …Turned to Wyatt Earp, ashamed and pale.

Answers:

1. Rocka Rolla by Judas Priest

Real lyric:  She’s a bar room fighter, ten pint a nighter
Misheard:  She’s a bar room fighter, tampon igniter

The story:  How embarrassing

2. Sweet Home Alabama by Lynyrd Skynyrd

Real lyric:  Singin’ songs about the Southland . I miss Alabama once again and I think it’s a sin.
Misheard:  Swingin’ Logs in the backseat. I miss Alexandra once again and I think I’m in.

The story:  I felt so stupid.

3.  Tainted Love/Where Did Our Love Go by Soft Cell/Supremes

Real lyric:  I’ve got this burnin’ yearnin’ yearnin’
Misheard:  I’ve got this burnin’ burnin’ urine

The story:  I thought maybe it was about a STD, but I knew that couldn’t be it.

4. Unpretty by TLC
Real lyric:  You can buy your hair if it won’t grow. You can fix your nose if he says so.
Misheard:  You can bite your hair if it won’t grow. You can pick your nose if he says so.

The story:  There’s probably nothing more embarrassing than convincing people you knew in high school that your lyrics were correct. To my credit, though, TLC sings this song so low and so fast that it’s very hard to determine what they’re actually singing. God, I love my lyrics though, despite the laughter that ensued from my classmates. I’m sticking to my story.

5. Spinning Wheel by Blood Sweat and Tears

Real lyric: Ride a painted pony [let the spinning wheel spin. ]
Misheard:  Ride a painted toenail….

The story: It’s just the way he sang it, so we all started singing it that way

6. We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel
Real lyric:  We didn’t start the fire.
Misheard:  We didn’t fart, you liar.

The story:  My wife and I told our kids those were the real words when they were about 10 years old. They know better now, but, we still sing it that way!

7. I Ran by Flock of Seagulls
Real lyric:  I ran, I ran so far away
Misheard:  Iraq, Iraq is far away

The story:  This is my dad’s

8. Breakfast In America by Supertramp
Real lyric:  Take a jumbo across the water, (like to see America)
Misheard:  Take a gumball, and pass the water

The story:  Well, I was singing with my mom at some random point in the day, and we got to the part of the song, and my mother stopped and asked me to sing it again. So I did, and she laughed for a while and told me to look up the lyrics. And here we are now…

9. Come Sail Away by Styx
Real lyric:  A gathering of angels appeared above my head
Misheard:  A gathering of angles peeing above my head

The story:  My brother and I were listening to this and then he said “Did they just say peeing above my head?” Then I said “No, they said appeared.”

10.  A Whiter Shade of Pale by Procol Harum
Real lyric: …Turned a whiter shade of pale.
Misheard:  …Turned to Wyatt Earp, ashamed and pale.

The story: To be honest, it was a local bartender named Bill who’d misheard this lyric; to this day I regret having been unable to contain myself when he recited what he thought was the correct lyric in an attempt to have help identifying the song–I laughed out loud, right in his face, then corrected him. In retrospect, I’d rather have been more diplomatic, but, hey–it was funny.