Rant warning: one definition of marriage

A bunch of people wrote to a local newspaper screaming about what marriage means.  And what it means, according to them, is only reproduction.  If you don’t have biological children, you are not allowed to be married.

I know other people believe this; I mentioned before that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie agree with this, hence his statement about your life has no meaning until you have a biological child.  And nothing else matters.

Putting aside the arrogance…. I can’t put aside the arrogance because WOW, that’s really arrogant.  I’m making myself not scream and insult the way they did, but I’m still saying: that definition of marriage hurts a lot of good people.

I don’t have children, and I know other very good, healthy and loving marriages where they have no kids.  Many people don’t for a number of reasons which are their own business, but according to the ranters, a woman who is “barren” cannot be married; same with a man who is sterile.  If a couple has a child and that child dies, the couple must split up.  I’ve used this famous example before: the wonderful author, CS Lewis, had no children and a wife he adored.  According to Pitt and the newspaper people, his life was meaningless and he had no right to be married.  Unlike, say, the crack whore who is giving birth at this moment. Or the KKK members who protested outside Cracker Barrel against the rights of certain groups and taught their children (this is a direct quote from the one boy): “My dad says the only way we’ll have a Christian country is if we kill as the queers, n***ers, k*kes, and ragheads.”  All the kids around him said their parents taught the same thing.

And my marriage is meaningless and a violation of the Sacrament, but these people are what I should aspire too.  Yeesh….

But it leads to the next really ridiculous point that they say: they do this because they follow the teachings of the Bible.

This arguments makes half of me want to laugh and half of me want to scream Not!  They’d be better off admitting the truth — they don’t like people who aren’t like them, EXACTLY like them — because they are so NOT doing what Jesus taught.  I’ll put aside how they violate the whole “Judge not lest ye be judged” or the largest teaching from Jesus: Love one another, even your enemies.  Everyone brings that up and while it’s very true, it’s not doing any good.  If hate vs love comes up in their discussions, they follow the hate teachings.  So let’s move right on to the teachings that aren’t contradictory.

By the way, Mr. Barack Obama, Mr. John McCain, Mrs. Sarah Palin, and all the others…. pay attention, because you say the same hypocritical argument as the letters to the newspaper.

For the people who state they do the Bible says, you must be doing this:

Give me all your money, including any assets like your house and car: In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said: “Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.” (Luke 6:30, repeated in Matthew 5:42) If you DON’T give me all your money, you are not a Christian because you violated this major rule of Jesus’.

I can’t wait for the day that Obama and McCain agree that they follow the Bible, because I will be there asking for their money.  Or they have to renounce Jesus and Christianity.  Hey, I’m doing them a favor because:

You can’t have money and assets: “And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? . . . Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor; and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.” (Matthew 19:16-21. See also Luke 12:33) This is a great teaching; all those people in the newspaper, and all the politicians making claims to following the Bible will be helping the poor.  Not only will help the charities that need it, but then Obama’s and McCain’s claims to understanding my life will finally be true, because they’ll have no more money than me.

And for all of them who refuse to allow mention at the holidays for everything but their own, or even a generic “Have a good holiday!”, they’re not putting up Christmas trees, right?  Because that’s forbidden: “Thus saith the Lord, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not. . . . They are altogether brutish and foolish.” (Jeremiah 10:2-8) So no more TV specials about the White House Christmas tree! After all, Dubya, another proclaimer that he does what the Bible says, you are in violation!

You’re not wearing your wedding bands into Church, righ, Mrs. Palin? Because that’s also a violation of the Bible: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shame-facedness and sobriety; not with broided [braided] hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.” (I Timothy 2:9)

Here’s one I bet they don’t follow: Men, to make it into the kingdom of heaven, Jesus demands you castrate yourself. Oh yes he does: “But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs from the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.” (Matthew 19:11-12) Men who wrote into the newspaper, Mr. Obama, Mr. McCain, the doctor will see you now. Wave bye-bye to the boys!

By the way guys, You must kiss other men.  Yep, and not just in Church either: “Greet all the brethren with an holy kiss.” (I Thessalonians 5:26. See also Romans 16:16; I Corinthians 16:20; II Corinthians 13:12; I Peter 5:14)  Pucker up!

Oh, and we are allowed to get married just for the fun of sex.  The fact that these people say children only proves how little they know: According to Paul, if you can’t contain your sexual urges, you are better off getting married: “Let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.” (I Corinthians 7:8-9)

And you can’t ask for a raise or higher pay: Exact no more than that which is appointed you. And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, And what shall we do? and he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.” (Luke 3:13-14) So I’d say my company follows this, we don’t even get cost of living raises, but our president gave a whopping big raise, so there goes that argument.

And When your son misbehaves, you must stone him to death.  If you say, “It’s your bedtime and he says, ‘NO!’, stone him! abuse and murder.

“When they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them; Then shall his father and mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of the city, and unto the gate of his place; And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die.” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)

And when You kill children, such as above, feel happy! Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.” (Psalm 137:8-9)

Mr. Obama, did you know We can keep slaves and beat them? Lincoln acted against the Bible when he set you free: “And that duolos (slave) which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes.” (Luke 12:47-48)

You know you can’t eat any pork products or shellfish.  Do you know what you must eat?  Locusts.  But good news, you can put honey on them: “Even these of them ye may eat; the locust after his kind, and the bald locust after his kind, and the beetle after his kind, and the grasshopper after his kind.” (Leviticus 11:22) “And the same John [the Baptist] had his raiment of camel’s hair, and a leathern girdle about his loins; and his meat was locusts and wild honey.” (Matthew 3:4)

Now if you’re thinking that, Oops!  I haven’t done these.  I apologize to God.  NOPE!  Not unless you’re going to confession, even if your Church doesn’t have that Sacrament.  Jesus established confession.  And people who talk directly to God instead of the appointed intermediaries… not only would their sins not be forgiven, they were going to die a hideous death.  You, mere mortal, are not allowed to talk right to God.  See Numbers 16:1-50 for the whole story, in context, of God killing 15,000 of his own people for daring to do it:

“And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them: And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods. They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation . . . and there came out a fire from the Lord, and consumed the two hundred and fifty men that offered incense. . . .” (Numbers 16:31-35)

Same with divorce:  Jesus forbids divorce with one exceptionBut I say unto you, that whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32)

AND you can’t say that you’re allowed to ignore Jesus’ rulings on divorce, giving away your money, Confession, or anything else, even if your Church says it’s okay.  He covered that, knowing people would try.  In fact, they were already trying to use loopholes, so he admonished them: “You abandon the commandments of God to follow human traditions.” (Mark 7:8) BIG no-no going to God and saying “I know your kid told me I had to do these things, but that guy over there, Martin Lurther and other people, said it was okay.  So I ignored you and listened to them.” I wouldn’t do this with my boss at my job!  But people think they can say they follow the Bible but plan to pull this in heaven. Whoa!

So let’s cut the crap about doing what the Bible says so people can discriminate against other people.  Unless that person is chomping on a honey coated locust as they castrate themselves and hand me their money, they’re being a liar and a hypocrite.  I didn’t say their marriage had to be like mine; they shouldn’t be out there saying that I, and other loving people, have to be like them.


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