Can you talk well about yourself?

I can’t.  Not really.  If you know me well, that doesn’t shock you.  One of my biggest problems is my lack of confidence.  I’ve wrestled with it for years and probably always will.

I was thinking about this because someone sent me one of those emails where you describe the person who sent it to you with one word and then send it to others to hear how they’d describe you.

I am always surprised with how people describe me, if they’re doing so in a kind way.  And my lack of confidence unfortunately makes me very needy when it comes to affirmation. This time was no different when people used words like exceptional and extraordinary to describe me.  It’s coming at a time when I’m feeling very bad (no surprise) about myself, where I am in my life, and looking to who I will be in the future.

If you think like this about yourself, you might want to do this exercise.  Sit with someone who knows you very well; that’s important.  You both need paper and a pen.

First, you focus on your qualities.  You write down your 10 best qualities; the other person writes down what they think are your 10 best qualities.

Second, you focus on your 10 best accomplishments. The other person makes their list about you too.

Third, you swapped the lists so you see what they wrote and they go over with you what you wrote about yourself.

My sister Cathi did this with me when I was about 22.  It was agony for me to make those lists and it took me a long time, which obviously is not a good thing.  I used to carry the lists she made about me in my wallet so I could look at them, although I had a problem with some of the accomplishments she had written.  Such as “graduated high school”.

Me: Lots of people graduate high school.  That’s not a big accomplishment.

Cathi: But not everyone does, so it counts.

Me: That’s like saying some people are still picking their nose.  The fact that I don’t isn’t something I’d brag about either.

I’d actually like to do this exercise again, but I’d really should do it with John who knows me better than anyone.  But he also knows me so well, he knows I’d make him nuts by questioning everything he wrote so he’d probably say “You know I think you’re fantastic” and refuse to get himself in trouble if I asked.  LOL!


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