How To Photograph A Puppy

How To Photograph A Puppy

· Remove film from box and load camera.

· Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.

· Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.

· Choose a suitable background for photo.

· Mount camera on tripod and focus.

· Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.

· Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.

· Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.

· Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.

· Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.

· Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose.

· Put magazines back on coffee table.

· Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head…

· Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.

· Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, “No, outside! No, outside!”

· Call spouse to clean up the mess.

· Fix a drink.

· Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink, and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay”.

· DECIDE TO CALL PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

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