How To Photograph A Puppy
· Remove film from box and load camera.
· Remove film box from puppy’s mouth and throw in trash.
· Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle.
· Choose a suitable background for photo.
· Mount camera on tripod and focus.
· Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth.
· Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera.
· Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees.
· Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand.
· Get tissue and clean nose print from lens.
· Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy’s nose.
· Put magazines back on coffee table.
· Try to get puppy’s attention by squeaking toy over your head…
· Replace your glasses and check camera for damage.
· Jump up in time to grab puppy and say, “No, outside! No, outside!”
· Call spouse to clean up the mess.
· Fix a drink.
· Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink, and resolve to teach puppy “sit” and “stay”.
· DECIDE TO CALL PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS FIRST THING IN THE MORNING