Monthly Archives: April 2009

Please support the Washington DC Walk

You may not know it, but there’s more than one Breast Cancer Awareness walk during the year.  For example, one of my co-workers is doing one in October, while Washington DC is having a Walk on May 2-3, 2009.  If you’re already walking yourself or sponsoring someone for this walk, thank you!  If not, please give me just a couple minutes.

Someone I know is walking: Deb Wills. She’s a survivor herself and knows more; she’s walking for all of them.  You can read her words on why she’s doing this; they’re good words.  But I’d like to add my thoughts.

First, let me point out: I am talking only for myself, and no one else.  Deb doesn’t even know I’m doing this, and I’m certainly not speaking for the Avon organization, R.Y.I Enterprises, and All Ears Net.  These are my words.

I’ve mentioned Deb Wills before on my blog.  I’ve also talked about someone in a community can stand out, whatever that community is.  They get a name for themselves and a reputation.

In the Disney fans community, Deb Wills is a name. Her All Ears Net is an informational web site that even the employees of the Disney Company recognize.  When Deb goes places in the parks, people literally stop her every few minutes.  The reason is, she has worked hard to provide a quality site.  It’s affected people which may surprise you when you’re outside our community.  But you’re probably involved in something else that has a person like Deb.

People outside the community can’t believe Deb’s team is all volunteers.  So is Deb herself.  All Ears’ information is free and its advertising goes in support of the site because a site like that takes a lot.  And I can’t even imagine Deb’s to-do list.  And because Deb has shared being a breast cancer survivor, she has people turn to her:  people suffering from it, their families, and the survivors.

It could stop there, but it doesn’t.  Plenty of people who are a big fish in their own pond could just enjoy it.  Deb doesn’t.  She use those avenues to put herself out there to make a difference.  She doesn’t even just speak about it or let someone use her name; she’s certainly so incredibly busy with a full job, a family, and All Ears, that no one would fault her for doing it.  But she does do the effort and the work herself.   Last year, she raised $40,000 for Breast Cancer AwarenessFrom 2001- 2008, Deb has raised over $131,000 for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer. This year, she’s set a goal of $50,000 and is training hard for the Walk.

She has 85% of that goal.  A lot of people are getting behind her including small Mom & Pop companies and medium ones.  She’s someone you can behind.  She’s an admirable person who not only makes a difference, but she raises the bar for herself and her community in proportion to the growth in her reputation and reach in her community.  By supporting her, it’s not just the people she’s walking for, but all the people who already supported her Walk.  That’s a heck of a thing to be part of.

She’s close to her goal, but every little bit will get her there.  You can even give only a $10 donation, and remember, it’s for a great reason and tax deductible.  Please donate!  I honestly believe Breast Cancer is unfortunately one of those sad facts of life that sooner or later will touch your life through you or someone you know.  I’ve been spared in my two scares, but a friend in theater, one from high school, and I just found out that a friend I know from work have all had to have double mastectomies. Another friend lost his mother to breast cancer.

Please help. Even $10.  Any donation is fantastic, but if you want to also put it behind someone you can believe in, Deb Wills is one of those people.

Thank you.

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Misheard Lyrics Quiz!

QUIZ

  1. Listerine, it looks good on a corpse. Listerine, books and pages, dresser drawers.
  2. Mrs Brown, you’ve got an ugly daughter. Girls as fat as her are something rare.
  3. Hear the groundhogs say, you can get naked ok, you can get married in the altar this way.
  4. Ooh, baby, do you love that Smurf?
  5. Her name was Lola. She lost her shoulder.
  6. She said, ‘I think I remember the bill. Yes, as I recall I paid, we both had the ice cream’
  7. Last night I dreamt of a bagel.
  8. You got me doin promotions!
  9. Bre@sted women, sick of swimmin’.
  10. Pink Pajamas! Penguins on the Bottoms!  Pink pajamas, penguins on the bottoms!

ANSWERS

1. Mr. Crowley by Ozzy Osbourne

Real lyric:  Mr. Crowley, won’t you ride my white horse? Mr. Crowley, it’s symbolic, of course.

Misheard:  Listerine, it looks good on a corpse. Listerine, books and pages, dresser drawers.

The story:  I was the bass player in an Ozzy tribute band, and the singer, knowing my faux paus on these lyrics, handed me the mic and told me to take it, and I messed it up. I thought the crowd was just laughing because of my disfigurement.

2. Mrs. Brown You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter by  Herman’s Hermits’

Real lyric:  Mrs Brown, you’ve got a lovely daughter. Girls as sharp as her are something rare.

Misheard:  Mrs Brown, you’ve got an ugly daughter. Girls as fat as her are something rare.

The story:  My dad used to sing it all the time. One time, I heard it in school and sang along with it–to the amused and horrified looks of classmates and teachers!!!

3.  The Ballad of John and Yoko by Beatles

Real lyric:  Peter Brown called to say you can make it okay, you can get married in Gibraltar near Spain.

Misheard:  Hear the groundhogs say, you can get naked ok, you can get married in the altar this way.

The story:  My sister and I were singing this song along with the album one day, and I stopped short as she sang the wrong lyrics with gusto. I took the needle off the record and said, “WHAT do you think they’re saying?!?” She said it, somewhat embarassed, and I informed her what the real lyrics were. This began the “Valerie, what HOW does this song go?” craze I suffered through most of my teenage years.

4. Heaven is a Place on Earth by Belinda Carlisle

Real lyric: Ooh, baby, do you know what that’s worth?

Misheard:  Ooh, baby, do you love that Smurf?

The story:  Brother-in-law still swears these are the words.

5. Copacabana by Barry Manilow

Real lyric:  Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl.

Misheard:  Her name was Lola. She lost her shoulder.

The story: My daughter (5 years old) heard the song and asked: ‘Where did Lola lose her shoulder?’

6. Breakfast At Tiffany’s by Deep Blue Something

Real lyric:  She said, ‘I think I remember the film. Yes, as I recall, we both kinda liked it’

Misheard:  She said, ‘I think I remember the bill. Yes, as I recall I paid, we both had the ice cream’

The story:  I thought ‘Tiffany’s’ was a restaurant or something and they had breakfast there. (Editor’s note for newbies: ‘Breakfast At Tiffany’s’ was a 60s movie starring Audrey Hepburn.)

7. La Isla Bonita by Madonna

Real lyric:  Last night I dreamt of San Pedro

Misheard: Last night I dreamt of a bagel.

The story:  Ever since the first time I heard this song, I honestly thought that the lyrics really were ‘last night I dreamt of a bagel’. I found out the real lyrics when I was singing in my aunt’s car one day and did my ‘bagel’ lyrics when my aunt stopped me and told me the right lyrics.

8. Emotions by Mariah Carey

Real lyric:  You got me feelin emotions

Misheard:  You got me doin promotions!

The story:  I swear to god, the first time I heard this song on the radio that the dj announced it as ‘Promotions’ I thought, ‘God, has it come to that? Is this girl so desperate for material to sing that she’d write something like this?’ I figured it had to be a joke, but it wasn’t until I heard to the song a second time that I realize I’d misinterpreted it.

9. Part Of That World by Little Mermaid

Real lyric:  Bright young women, sick of swimmin’.

Misheard:  Bre@sted women, sick of swimmin’.

The story:  In the movie where Ariel sings this part, she sticks her chest out. Being the perverted little girl I was at that age, I thought she meant that since she was so grown up, having bre@sts and all, she should be allowed to do whatever she wants.

10. Circle of Life from The Lion King by Elton John and Tim Rice

Real lyric:  Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba! Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!  (Translated from Swahili: Here comes a lion, Father!)

Misheard:  Pink Pajamas! Penguins on the Bottoms!  Pink pajamas, penguins on the bottoms!

The story: My friend was singing this song one day when we were hanging out. I had no idea what the real lyrics were, but I knew for sure they had nothing to do with sleepware!

I’m MSTie over Batwoman!

Just to be clear, I don’t mean the new DC Comics Batwoman who does rock!  I’m talking about Batwoman from the 1966 movie.

You’re probably wondering why you haven’t heard about this character before.  Why, when even the Batman and Robin with the nipples on their costumes get a ride at the Six Flags theme parks, has this Batwoman been abandoned?

For one good reason: this movie sucks.

You might have figured that out from the title; after all, I did see “The Wild World of Batwoman” through MST 3K (Mystery Science Theater).  You don’t get MSTied because you’re a good film. But since a picture is worth a thousand words, you have DC Comics Batwoman up above, and here is the Batwoman we’re talking about.

Superhero or Dominatrix?

Superhero or Dominatrix?

You might think that Dominatrix comment is too harsh.  Well, here’s her arch enemy, Rat Fink:

A guy with a black mask/hood with women chained up

A guy with a black mask/hood with women chained up

Now how, you wonder, does Batwoman fight crime in this outfit?  Never fear! Because  Batwoman’s superhero abilities are!

Calling people on the phone!

Yep, it’s true!  She has all these young women run around the city with these wrist radios (actually, they look like flat bracelets) and when they see a crime, they call Batwoman and tell her to call the police.  That’ll strike terror in the hearts of criminals!

Her sidekicks, by the way, are called Batgirls.  The movie was made when the Adam West tv show was hugely popular.  Go figure, DC Comics sued the movie’s creator for copyright infringement.  This guy was dumbstruck: how could DC Comics think he was ripping them off?  Just because he had a crime fighter with a bat symbol on the chest, the same exact one Batman has?  Just because he had Batgirls in his film?  To fight back against DC, he said that his Batwoman wasn’t a crime fighter, she was a vampire.  Two things hurt this theory.  One, the movie poster saying:

Which says she’s a super-heroine battling evil, not a vampire.  And 2: NO ONE in the movie ever calls her or the Batgirls vampires.  So the director quickly filmed and added a scene to the beginning where the Batgirls say they’re vampires, but not ones that drink blood anymore.  This makes a confusing movie even worse, because you have no idea why they’re saying this and it’s never referred to again.  Although fighting crime is.

And how these people fight crime!  Basically, this film is the director’s really bizarre sexual fantasies with a Batman logo.   For example, you’ve seen Batwoman’s crime fighting costume.  The Batgirls wear….

….bikinis.  Or other beach wear, except for Batwoman’s “first officer” who wears a tiger print halter top and low cut clingy pants.  They also take the Batgirl oath which, I’m guessing, is the same one the Moonies must take except this one puts in the name Batwoman in place of  Sun Myung Moon.

Another example of the terrifying fighting force: when 2 men capture one of the Batgirls, you can imagine the edgy, gritty, tension filled scenes that show this.

20 minutes of Go Go Dancing

Complete with lots of butt shots.

When Rat Fink tells his evil scientist to fight against the Batgirls, he gives them a happy pill that makes them….

yep, dance.  Sometimes with guns.

And when Batwoman sends out a signal later on that Rat Fink is making his move to destroy the world (or city, I dunno which.  It’s a confusing movie.), with the use of — are you ready? — a hearing aide and nitro — promising her Batgirls will bring evil into justice, what do they do?

Yep, dance.  In bikinis.  On the beach.  For 10 minutes.  Oh, AND they make out.  Then Batgirl #1 drops the guy she’s making out with and tells the other  Batgirls it’s time to find the bad guy.

In case you think this is all they do while the world is falling apart, Au Contraire!  They also hold a seance.  Where the spirits suddenly break out into the most appalling Chinese imitation you ever heard.

Oh, remember that monster from the movie poster?  Well, blink and you’ll miss them.  They’re suddenly thrown into the film during the hearing-aide-of-destruction climax and they don’t  seem to have anything to do with anything.  This movie has about 57 plots going on, most of them are there for a few minutes and then disappear.  Like:

From Bad Movies.org:

This movie has 3 openings; two of witch have nothing to do with the plot. First, we find out how girls join Batwoman and her synthetic Vampires by drinking…YOGURT! It gets worse.

The second is a mugging gone wrong and the Batgirls who witnessed him can do only what Batgirls can do…CALL BATWOMAN! That’s it. Nothing else. It gets worse.

The third opening, and the one that HAS something to do with the movie are all the Batgirls at a dance club. One of them is given a drugged drink by Tiger and Bruno while the other Batgirls just dance and dance for two more minutes. And yes, it gets worse.

Look, 3 plots and we’re only a few minutes into the film.

I could make fun of this movie all day.  After all, I haven’t even mentioned the freaky henchman that one reviewer called a “subpar Tor Johnson”.  That’s right: a SUB-PAR Tor Johnson.

But why give away any more of the movie?  I might have convinced you to watch it to laugh at a bad film, or you just want to see all the go-go dancing and bondage costumes.

If you don’t want to watch it, but you’d like to laugh at it some more, check out these links:

Badmovies.org: http://www.badmovies.org/othermovies/wbatwoman/

The Monster Shack: http://www.monstershack.net/reviews/full/wwobw.php

And for the full treatment – The Agony Booth: http://www.agonybooth.com/recaps/The_Wild_World_of_Batwoman_1966.aspx

PS: I have to say – the avatar I made  for this post is going into my favorites!

Heroes: 1 Pirates: 0

I saw the children’s show yesterday.  John came with me, and Becky, Adam, and Sophia met us there.  I got a great surprise when I see Tootie (Kim S.) and Kyle there too!  I was excited but nervous, naturally.  Would I think the writing held up when it was the first one I wrote?  Would I like what they did and more importantly, would the audience like it?

Unfortunately, good weather had worked against the show, making the audience sizes very small.  But they had at least half a house yesterday.  And a real tribute to the show: some people had come back to see it again!

Overall, it was a great show!  They had some excellent performers, the kids actually didn’t squirm and paid attention (that is HUGE) with one boy actually quoting from the show at each blackout! And as more than one parent said to me, they were thrilled and surprised that there was laughs and moments for the adults which they loved!  That’s a lesson I’ve learned as an adult who goes to “kid movies” and watches “kid shows”.  The lesson is this:

You’re dead if you aim only for kids. Adults are only kids grown up, anyway. — Walt Disney

So I’m glad that worked.  Let’s face it: having the audience AND cast tell me how good they thought it was is such a high!  I’ll be riding this one for awhile!

I grabbed some photos and a video during the show:

Fabler, Princess Noble, and Mocking: kids fell in love with the princess right away, and adults loved Mockings humor

Fabler, Princess Noble, and Mocking: kids fell in love with the princess right away, and adults loved Mocking's humor

Fabler talks to Bob about the Prophesy he will fulfill. In a land where people are named after their strong characteristics, like Elegant and Noble, a hero named Bob is odd. More worrisome: hes a sailor who was kicked off his ship because he kept getting seasick.  How can this be the Hero of the Prophesy?

Fabler talks to Bob about the Prophesy he will fulfill. In a land where people are named after their strong characteristics, like Elegant and Noble, a hero named Bob is odd. More worrisome: he's a sailor who was kicked off his ship because he kept getting seasick. How can this be the Hero of the Prophesy?

The fearsome pirates - King Corrupt, Shady, and Shifty - plot against the Heroes, including letting loose the terrifying, 5 stories tall Hound!

The fearsome pirates - King Corrupt, Shady, and Shifty - plot against the Heroes, including letting loose the terrifying, 5 stories tall Hound!

Mocking is captured!  But faces the pirates bravely!

Mocking is captured! But faces the pirates bravely!

The heroes hear of Mockings capture and the upcoming attack on the kingdom!

The heroes hear of Mocking's capture and the upcoming attack on the kingdom!

Sneaking into the pirates den!

Sneaking into the pirates den!

The pirates rally! Even with their fearsome Hound reduced to a tiny dog by the Fairy Godmother!

The pirates rally! Even with their fearsome Hound reduced to a tiny dog by the Fairy Godmother!

The Princess is captured and taunted by Pirate King Corrupt!

The Princess is captured and taunted by Pirate King Corrupt!

It’s time to fight back!

Battle for the Kingdom!

PS: I did NOT write the son-of-a-bee line. 😉

These guys were so sweet to me:

Mike on the left told me he fell in love with the script, and James on the right told me how much he enjoyed playing this part.  You should have seen them perk up when I said there was a prequel.

I made this t-shirt for Sophia.  She was in NYC this weekend, and after seeing a Broadway show, told the bellman that she was now seeing another show that HER Auntie Erin wrote!  Becky said you could tell the bellman thought the play was playing off Broadway… which it was: off off OFF Broadway!  But that’s the reason for the “Written by her Auntie Erin” line on the T-shirt.

So this was a fun experience.  I’m relieved  and thrilled that the audience and cast had such a good time!

Misheard Lyrics Quiz!

QUIZ

  1. No one wants to see your p-nis
  2. Babe I’ve got a toe jam. Lick it, tastes sweet.
  3. Just dance, gonna pee okay, gotta doo doo
  4. Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty
  5. We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon
  6. The best thing about a bee in a walkman
  7. All those dago freaks who used to pay the face
  8. Kissed another midget on the butt.
  9. Goodbye, enormous jeans
  10. On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave me –  three different STDs!

ANSWERS

1. Beat It by Michael Jackson

Real lyric:  No one wants to be defeated

Misheard:  No one wants to see your p-nis

The story:  I thought the song was about townspeople trying to tell the local “flasher” where to go – hence “beat it”!

2. Usher by Slowjam

Real lyric:  Play another slow jam. This time, make it sweet.

Misheard:  Babe I’ve got a toe jam. Lick it, tastes sweet.

The story:  My sister and I were sitting listening to the cd when she got it 4 years ago and sang that verse like that. Its sick but funny

3.  Just Dance by Lady Gaga

Real lyric:  Just dance, gonna be okay, da da do do

Misheard:  Just dance, gonna pee okay, gotta doo doo

The story:  I listened to the song after watching America’s Best Dance Crew season 2….and i was like…..oh wow….Well this is how its like to be drunk…

4. Shoop by Salt-N-Pepa

Real lyric:  Don’t you know, I wanna shoop, baby

Misheard:  Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty

The story:  While partying with a bunch of my friends, this song came on and we all started singing along. One guy was singing, ‘Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty.’ We all stopped short and said, ‘What did you just say?!’ He repeated it, then sang his version of the chorus (‘Shoot Betty, Shoot Betty, Shoot Betty, Betty, Betty,’) instead of ‘Shoop be doop, shoop be doop, shoop be doop be doop be doop.’ We were all hysterically laughing and told him the actual words and he didn’t believe us! To this day, I’m pretty sure if he heard the song he’d be singing Shoot Betty!

5. Pretty Vacant by Sex Pistols

Real lyric:  We’re so pretty, oh so pretty yeah, we’re vacant

Misheard:  We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon

The story: I heard this story years ago in Pinner Middx UK where I grew up from a friend of mine by the name of Sue Crisp. She was in a record shop when she overheard someone ask ‘have you got that song called er Fruity Bacon. Y’know it goes….We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon.’

6. Man! I Feel Like A Woman by  Shania Twain

Real lyric:  The best thing about being a woman

Misheard:  The best thing about a bee in a walkman

The story:  I heard this sung out loud by some lady in a car park of a shopping center.

7. Kid Charlemagne by Steely Dan

Real lyric:  All those day-glow freaks who used to paint their face

Misheard:  All those dago freaks who used to pay the face

The story:  heard a local band (whose members were very young or weren’t even around in 1976) singing this song at a club, using lyrics in a couple of spots that I couldn’t make out exactly, but didn’t sound right. During a break I asked the lead singer about the lyrics he was singing – the misheard lyrics were his response – he told me he had learned the song, including the lyrics, by ear. He was glad I wasn’t Italian after I had corrected him!

8. By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Real lyric:  Kissed ya then I missed ya, ooh ah.

Misheard:  Kissed another midget on the butt.

The story:  My brother was singing it in the car and my mom turned it off and called it ‘smut’.

9. Candle In The Wind by Elton John

Real lyric:  Goodbye, Norma Jean

Misheard:  Goodbye, enormous jeans

The story:  I wondered for years why Elton was singing about weight loss, then I heard my wife singing along with the radio one day and realized.

10. 8 Days Of Christmas by Destiny’s Child

Real lyric:  On the 6th day of Christmas my baby gave to me – a Prada jacket with some dirty denim jeans.

Misheard:  On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave me – three different STDs!

The story: My boyfriend’s little brother was singing it one day. He was eight years old at the time and thought he knew the words. And he just busted out and said that

Disney downloads

I have a few things that I thought people might like for themselves.  So help yourself if you’re interested.

Zip A Dee Doo Dah Tip of the Day Ringtone:

Remember this from the WDW Tour channel in Disney World?

I’ve had a wav file  for the intro song for a long.  A little while ago, someone who had asked for the wav file converted it to a mp3.  It makes for a great ringtone, one that’s fun and unique!

Download the Zip A Dee Doo Dah Tip of the Day Ringtone.

Disney D23 Wallpaper:

I wanted one for my laptop and couldn’t find one. So I made a quick one from scanning my pamphlet. I’ll do a nicer one when I get time, but this is still cool.  I made 3 sizes:

Download D23 Wallpaper 800 x 600

Download D23 Wallpaper 1024 x 768

Download D23 Wallpaper 1280 x 898 (the largest scan size I could get)

Disney Vacation Countdown Calendar:

This isn’t a download, but tips if you want to make one. Family & Parenting suggests the Disney Calendar Creator page, which is a great idea.  You can pick characters and put “stickers” on dates.  But when I went to make one for my little friend, Sophia, for her upcoming trip, I wanted more “stickers” and more elaborate ones that just mouse heads.   So here’s another option you can do.

I used the free Flickr calendar tool.  I picked 3 photos from Flickr of some of her favorite characters.  You can leave it there and just draw or get regular stickers to decorate it.  Or if you’re comfortable with a graphics program like Photoshop, you can grab free art and punch up the design like these:

April: I added a few graphics for fun things going on this month, like Sophia coming to see my kid’s show and going to see Mary Poppins.  And then princess as a colorful little blurb:

May 2009: She didn’t have anything else going on, so I just put Mickey watching fireworks for Memorial Day and then other clipart to jazz it up.

June 2009: I used a Mickey and Minnie in a plane for the day she leaves, then WDW artwork for all the days she’s there, including a giraffe and zebra because she’s staying at Animal Kingdom Lodge and is looking forward to the animals.  I don’t plan that she uses this DURING her vacation, but the artwork adds excitement as she looks towards those days.

I’m thrilled with how they look now that I’ve printed them.  I’ll get stickers at the dollar store for her to use each morning to mark off the days.  And like everything else that I do like this for Sophia, this will be sent from “Mickey” which always excites her.  So I made a letter to go with it all on a custom MM stationary I made including signature.

So if you’re willing to spend a little time playing around, you can make a great calendar that will help fill in the days until you leave.

Gotta go.  I need to set my ringtone!

Easter cakes that are so bad, they’re funny

I haven’t visited Cake Wrecks in a while.  Stupid of me, because of course, I’ve been missing some really funny posts.  For example, just in time for Easter:

It looks like the Spam Lamb from the M*A*S*H episode.  What it really is: an Easter Lamb with a cigarette.  Cake Wrecks pointed out the same thing: why is he smoking?  It’s not the only one.

I’m thinking that when Richard Dreyfuss was done building the mountain out of mashed potatoes in “Close Encounters”, he made this lamb.  Smoking.

Now — WTF happened to this chick?

I’m supposed to pay $13 for that?!

THIS one must send kids screaming in the supermarket:

If a dragon and a chick had a kid, that’s what it would look like.  Or as Cake Wrecks puts it:

It’s Dr. Bok Bok Bokaw, the mutant chicken head sent from the future to enslave us all!!

What about the Easter Bunny? Can’t leave him out.
Oh, I wish they had left him out!

Spike from the Gremlins and the Easter Bunny had a child who ate after midnight.  Here he is:

Notice these are from BAKERIES!  Not people at home!  They expect you to BUY this!

It doesn’t get better!  Behold the Bunny cake based on Moe Green from the Godfather:

Nothing says Happy Easter than a bunny shot in the eye.

The following one is just bad.  Period:

oy vay.

To everyone reading this, Happy Passover!

Happy Easter!  Secular:

and Religious:

and to the Spring Solstice from which we get so many traditions, thank you!