- No one wants to see your p-nis
- Babe I’ve got a toe jam. Lick it, tastes sweet.
- Just dance, gonna pee okay, gotta doo doo
- Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty
- We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon
- The best thing about a bee in a walkman
- All those dago freaks who used to pay the face
- Kissed another midget on the butt.
- Goodbye, enormous jeans
- On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave me – three different STDs!
1. Beat It by Michael Jackson
Real lyric: No one wants to be defeated
Misheard: No one wants to see your p-nis
The story: I thought the song was about townspeople trying to tell the local “flasher” where to go – hence “beat it”!
2. Usher by Slowjam
Real lyric: Play another slow jam. This time, make it sweet.
Misheard: Babe I’ve got a toe jam. Lick it, tastes sweet.
The story: My sister and I were sitting listening to the cd when she got it 4 years ago and sang that verse like that. Its sick but funny
3. Just Dance by Lady Gaga
Real lyric: Just dance, gonna be okay, da da do do
Misheard: Just dance, gonna pee okay, gotta doo doo
The story: I listened to the song after watching America’s Best Dance Crew season 2….and i was like…..oh wow….Well this is how its like to be drunk…
4. Shoop by Salt-N-Pepa
Real lyric: Don’t you know, I wanna shoop, baby
Misheard: Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty
The story: While partying with a bunch of my friends, this song came on and we all started singing along. One guy was singing, ‘Don’t you know, I wanna shoot Betty.’ We all stopped short and said, ‘What did you just say?!’ He repeated it, then sang his version of the chorus (‘Shoot Betty, Shoot Betty, Shoot Betty, Betty, Betty,’) instead of ‘Shoop be doop, shoop be doop, shoop be doop be doop be doop.’ We were all hysterically laughing and told him the actual words and he didn’t believe us! To this day, I’m pretty sure if he heard the song he’d be singing Shoot Betty!
5. Pretty Vacant by Sex Pistols
Real lyric: We’re so pretty, oh so pretty yeah, we’re vacant
Misheard: We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon
The story: I heard this story years ago in Pinner Middx UK where I grew up from a friend of mine by the name of Sue Crisp. She was in a record shop when she overheard someone ask ‘have you got that song called er Fruity Bacon. Y’know it goes….We’re so fruity, oh so fruity yeah, we’re bacon.’
6. Man! I Feel Like A Woman by Shania Twain
Real lyric: The best thing about being a woman
Misheard: The best thing about a bee in a walkman
The story: I heard this sung out loud by some lady in a car park of a shopping center.
7. Kid Charlemagne by Steely Dan
Real lyric: All those day-glow freaks who used to paint their face
Misheard: All those dago freaks who used to pay the face
The story: heard a local band (whose members were very young or weren’t even around in 1976) singing this song at a club, using lyrics in a couple of spots that I couldn’t make out exactly, but didn’t sound right. During a break I asked the lead singer about the lyrics he was singing – the misheard lyrics were his response – he told me he had learned the song, including the lyrics, by ear. He was glad I wasn’t Italian after I had corrected him!
8. By The Way by Red Hot Chili Peppers
Real lyric: Kissed ya then I missed ya, ooh ah.
Misheard: Kissed another midget on the butt.
The story: My brother was singing it in the car and my mom turned it off and called it ‘smut’.
9. Candle In The Wind by Elton John
Real lyric: Goodbye, Norma Jean
Misheard: Goodbye, enormous jeans
The story: I wondered for years why Elton was singing about weight loss, then I heard my wife singing along with the radio one day and realized.
10. 8 Days Of Christmas by Destiny’s Child
Real lyric: On the 6th day of Christmas my baby gave to me – a Prada jacket with some dirty denim jeans.
Misheard: On the sixth day of Christmas, my baby gave me – three different STDs!
The story: My boyfriend’s little brother was singing it one day. He was eight years old at the time and thought he knew the words. And he just busted out and said that