1. The more I get of you, A strange odor fills the air.
2. I shot Sharon, but I didn’t shoot her dead.
3. You’re a hot-headed porkchop bagel …
4. you bite me when I’m wrong
5. Round John Virgin, margarine child! Holy imbecile, tender and mild!
6. Sucking on a leprechaun
7. I was a scatterbrain when you asked me ’bout my chocolate milk
8. I’ll be your cummerbund with a mullet
9. Rock Me, I’m a douche
10. If I can’t have you, I don’t want your ugly baby.
1. A Kiss From A Rose by Seal
Real lyric: The more I get of you, Stranger it feels, yeah.
Misheard: The more I get of you, A strange odor fills the air.
The story: I knew that COULDN’T be right… so I looked it up on the net, which wasn’t as easy to do in 1995 as it is now.
2. I Shot The Sheriff by Eric Clapton
Real lyric: I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy.
Misheard: I shot Sharon, but I didn’t shoot her dead.
The story: My mother was the one who had these confused. I thought it was funny.
3. You’re So D@mn Hot by Ok Go
Real lyric: You’re a bad-hearted boytrap babydoll …
Misheard: You’re a hot-headed porkchop bagel …
The story: I discovered the real lyric on the internet. Fortunately, my humiliation was only in my mind as I had never sung that song in front of anyone.
4. Maybe I’m Amazed by Paul McCartney
Real lyric: you right me when I’m wrong
Misheard: you bite me when I’m wrong
The story: I looked the lyrics up, since I had a really hard time imagining a rabid, aggressive Linda biting off Paul’s arms
5. Silent Night
Real lyric: Round yon Virgin Mother and Child. Holy Infant so tender and mild
Misheard: Round John Virgin, margarine child! Holy imbecile, tender and mild!
The story: No story given.
6. Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
Real lyric: steppin’ on leprechaun
Misheard: Sucking on a leprechaun
The story: umm…. well there really isn’t a story I was just in the car and I looked at my friend Chelsi and I was like did he just say sucking on a leprechaun? And she goes i have no idea
7. See You Again by Miley Cyrus
Real lyric: I st-st-stuttered when you asked me what I’m thinkin’ ’bout
Misheard: I was a scatterbrain when you asked me ’bout my chocolate milk
The story: I yelled it at a school dance. Thank god no one heard me, the music was cranked up too loud. 3 months later I actually figured out what the lyrics were…
8. Sugar, We’re Going Down by Fall Out Boy
Real lyric: I’ll be your number one with a bullet
Misheard: I’ll be your cummerbund with a mullet
The story: I still can’t understand a word the guy is saying and I still sing my lyrics.
9. Rock Me Amadeus by Falco
Real lyric: Rock Me Amadeus
Misheard: Rock Me, I’m a douche
The story: I was telling my friend how I thought some songs were really weird like “that one song about being a douche”. He was very confused about what I was talking about and we tried to figure out what song I was talking about… Apparently I was wrong lol.
10. If I can’t have you by Bee Gees
Real lyric: If I can’t have you, I don’t want nobody baby
Misheard: If I can’t have you, I don’t want your ugly baby.
The story: This one is from my hairdresser and I nearly killed myself laughing.