Casey has been having accidents; when the vet ruled out health issues, it came down to getting older and a weaker bladder. People with vet degrees in my animal shelter group recommended pumpkin seed oil. I told my friend Preston about this and he looked up what it does. I should say, what DOESN’T it do?
The mighty Pumpkin Seed Oil helps regulate cholesterol levels! Prevents hardening of the arteries! Fights tapeworms! Treats depression! Eliminates parasites from the intestines! And who doesn’t hate those little boogers!
By the way, since one of the major things it does is help with incontinence, when I called the the health food store to see if they had it, the person on the other end looked it up in the computer, and suddenly did the classic, “Ma’am, can I ask? Are you looking for this because of <drop voice to whisper> bladder control?” Which is actually very nice. You wouldn’t want them announcing to the entire store, “You got pee problems, Miss?” Anyway, I answered calmly that yes, that’s why I was calling, and then defensively, “It’s for my dog!” You know they were thinking, yeah right!
This tangent brought to you by A.D.D! Yes, A.D.D. – offering a life time of diversions in every minute!
And now back to the regular post.
Men! Don’t think you’ve been forgotten! Because as Captain Extract here reminds us, Pumpkin Seed Oil takes care of the prostate! And some other services for your whole hoo-hoo system that I’m not going to mention any further. I did the In-The-Navy singing bit like everybody else, but that doesn’t mean I’m quoting any description of Captain Extract and the semen thing. If you want to know more about that, I’m sure there’s a school film from the 50s called “How to Make Your Semen Swell!”. (And a MST 3K riff of it.)
As Preston and I got to about the 8th benefit of Pumpkin Seed Oil and her fight to Make the Body Good!, it started reminding me of the Saturday Night Live bit:
Spokesman: New Shimmer is both a floor wax and a dessert topping! Here, I’ll spray some on your mop.. [ sprays Shimmer onto mop ] …and some on your butterscotch
pudding. [ sprays Shimmer onto pudding ]
[ Husband eats while Wife mops ]
Husband: Mmmmm, tastes terrific!
Wife: And just look at that shine!
Preston started joking: It’s so tasty too! Tastes just like candy!
So when you’re looking for a way to bring about World Peace, remember the orange heroine!
Pumpkin Seed Oil!
(I’ve been waiting a long time to use that smiley of The Tick. 😉 )