Tag Archives: mammograms

Mammograms – grinning through the wincing

I found a lump in my left breast a few weeks ago, and I’m having pain where they found the cyst.  So it was off for mammograms and ultrasounds.  I got the results and talked with my doctor.  I’m one of the lucky ones; my left side is clear and the right side is still just a “benign node”.  I’m okay.

So breathing a sigh of relief, I can grin now.  Mammograms certainly don’t make you want to sing a chorus of “I enjoy being a girl.” but this day was really funny.

While I stood in the room waiting, I found notes on the bulletin board that were instructions on how to run certain pieces of equipment.  Nothing like seeing INSTRUCTIONS for the lab techs on how to do the tests!  Not that it said “Mammograms for Dummies” or anything, but I almost asked my tech, as a joke, if she had read up on the whole thing.

On the other side of the room,a sign was behind hampers for the gowns and some equipment.  It said that if you could possibly be pregnant, please tell the staff.  It was written in Braille on the bottom.

Let me repeat the important part: the sign was BEHIND some hampers and equipment.  A blind person couldn’t reach it to read it.  Of course, as every woman knows, you’re asked a million different times before any test if you could even remotely be pregnant.  Except when my aunt, in her 70s, had tests.  They said they could skip that question.

For the guys, a mammogram test is like putting your boys on a desk and then taking another desk to put on top of them; then a winch squeezes them flat together.  The top “desk” is called a paddle and it’s clear. I had to have “spot” scans done.   That’s where they use smaller paddles to flatten just a certain area.  It suddenly occurred to me that if my body part had a face, it would look like this: 

But they warm up the ultrasound gel now.  Yay!

Like I said, I’m really lucky. I’m okay and I’m very glad that it did turn out all right.   Which is why I can laugh over these things.