I joined Weight Watchers today.

I had to do something.  I’ve put on so much weight and for a year and a half, if not longer, I said I would lose it.  Instead, I keep putting on more.  So many of my clothes don’t fit and the few that do look terrible because of the weight and fat/inches.

I needed to do something that would make me stay on target; spending even this little bit of money and knowing I’m held accountable each week is a great start.  Hopefully, I will get my will power kick started again.

I once lost 40 pounds and looked fantastic.  I made myself a promise that I would never return to that person that I was.  But I did.  It doesn’t matter why, what’s important is that I did this again to myself.  I don’t feel good, not in my self-image or in health.

Now, I am climbing back on a path of treating myself better: eating better and working out again.  Not being lazy or letting my activities interfere – using them as excuses of why I can’t do it right now.  My mom had kids and a husband at home, worked full time, was a Scout leader with a full schedule, and did other things too, but she got on Weight Watchers when I was a kid and lost her weight.   If she can do it with all the things in her life, I can too.  My dad supported her in it and in later years, I would.  It makes a difference; even so, it has to start in your own head.

I have to say that I’ve unofficially joined Weight Watchers.  The woman who handles our group at work has put me off for 3 weeks now.  At first, she had all her paperwork put away and asked me to come back after the holiday weekend.  Today, she was out because of a death in the family and the other person forgot I was joining, so she didn’t have the right paperwork.  I insisted on being weighed anyway so I can get going instead of saying “soon, soon, I’ll do something soon….”

I have to lose 25 pounds. And as the first hurdle, someone brought Munchkins to the office.   Plus, I have a Christening party on Sunday, a birthday get together next week…

So here I go.  Already wavering, but already sticking to it.

“Fasten your seat belts. It’s going to be a bumpy night!”