The Burgermeister killed my muse.

It’s bad enough my muse has deserted me this whole year. It’s so frustrating to want to write and almost writing, but the words won’t come because your muse is looking through the want ads to find a new place to work; or they bet on the Patriots in the Superbowl and has been p’d off ever since.

This is your brain. This is your brain without your muse. This is how impressed my muse is with me.

Then I got 2 reviews this week for my fanfic novel, The Race of Cain. The first is from an another amateur writer whose review is so impressively written, I can’t imagine what her stories are like. And it picked up my spirits so much to read things such as:

I must admit I was reluctant to open the story – not because of anything specific, I just prefer a different genre. This time, however, I couldn’t resist for some reason and now I’m happy, I did read it. I won’t impose by any sort of praise, I do not feel I’m the right person to make rulings. I can only say this, when I read novels like that, I cannot help but feel dreadfully inferior. Not because of the language, though it is undeniably nice to read something written with such high technical quality. Not because of the plot, though numerous words can be said about its ingenuity. But because of the uncanny way of getting under my skin when I read this. I mean I do not even like this genre-era, yet I feel unable to go away, until I’ve finished to the very last word. It is a rare and most valuable gift to get people so transfixed, especially when they do not want to be. The tiny psychological details are very plausible and catchy. Saavik-Valeris conversation is incredibly well done, top spot, in my opinion. Anyway, I can see you loved writing it. It’s only fair people loved reading it.

No wonder I was blown away, right? Anyone would be. Then I got the other review. It had less to say, but what it did say was equally powerful or even more because it was a professional writer with a number of successful books. She called it: “a good story”, “extremely strong”, and a novel that deserves to be on the shelves in every bookstore. Even the warning about the near impossible odds of actually getting printed didn’t bring me down. I already knew the odds, especially for the one genre that had a regime change in the last couple of years that gives no publishing contract unless they came up with the story and you’re already in their stable of writers.  The days when I was sure you’d see my book or books in print are long gone. But to be told by a real writer that I had what it takes…. priceless.

It got my muse’s attention. All the creative juices came back and I had all these ideas for my 2 rough novels. There’s a lot of garbage writing out there that has too many fans when it shouldn’t see the light of day; that gets really discouraging. Add to it an industry that says they’ll never print me…. but these reviews made my spirit think, they may never print me….

Then along came the one who shall be called The Burgermeister because I don’t know who reads this blog, so I’m doing some CYA just in case. BG who was having a bad day, decided to take the snit fit out on me and made my life miserable. And this after I did the Burgermeister a few favors! It was frustrating and p’d me off all over again! And my muse is deciding to leave again, take the vicious road with the Burgermeister, or take the high road.

I’m leaning towards the vicious path.

While I beg my muse to please stay and speak to me.

Story rejected

I got another rejection letter.  Sigh.  I’ll have to find another place to submit it to, but for now, I’m just bummed.

I’ve had a bad streak this whole month and I’ve felt all along that 2008 wasn’t going to be a good year.  So far, that’s holding true and I just hope it’s not an indicator that the other 11 months will be the same.

NaNoWriMo

Well, I did and didn’t do NaNoWriMo this year. I wrote more than 50K words, but it was for my fanfiction sci-fi novel, The Race of Cain. Since it’s based on an established universe and not all original, I didn’t submit it to the contest.

So I’m disappointed that I let myself get backed up with that. I had hoped to finish Cain by Nov 1st and then work on my original novel, The Heroic Era. But Oct plain sucked and in November, I was so sick and then the surgery. I feel like I shouldn’t have let that stop me (other than the surgery), especially since some of that time was spent playing with the vacation blog.

Still, I am so thrilled that Cain is done! I am going to add an epilogue to it, and after some time away from it, tackle it fresh and clean it up. I might offer it as a paperback book style fanzine! It’s taught me so much to write something this large (34 chapters, approx 200,000 words) and I’m proud of it – for a fanfic work. But it was my off and on project for too long; I was determined to finish it.

So I feel like I did win my NaNoWriMo; I certainly wrote a lot this month and hit the word goal. I had the previous chapters done (1 – 22) and fanfic, so I don’t have the certificate, but I got the feeling of accomplishment!

Panic attack!

I set a goal for myself back in the summer.  I would finish the fan novel I have been writing off and on for five years by Thanksgiving.

I have four chapters left to do and Thanksgiving is 3 days away!

I was doing really well for awhile; I’d get a chapter done every week.  Then we had such a bad late summer and fall that I couldn’t get my head together.  Even so, I had no idea that I got nothing done in October until I checked the dates.   Just like I didn’t realize how long I had put this thing aside until someone asked.  Five years!  That made me determine to get it done.  Fans of it were certainly thrilled and that spurred me on so much.

I have 2 of the 4 chapters done in rough draft, another one in notes, but the final one will be all made up because I can’t find my notes.

It’s my own goal, nothing will happen if I don’t do it, except that I will know that I failed.  And I really would like to go to Thanksgiving knowing I did this accomplishment.

So.  Panic attack!

Carpal tunnel syndrome, here I come!

Yep, I signed up for NaNoWriMo again!  What the heck, why not tackle writing another novel on top of the writing projects I already have!  But I had a huge sense of accomplishment by writing that book and this time, I hope to have something I can seriously consider polishing for publication.  At least, someday.