Monthly Archives: April 2010

Misheard Lyrics Quiz

QUIZ

  1. Little wrinkled rat, baby you’re much too fat….
  2. I’ll be the water you give birth in baby.
  3. and baby all we need is just a beer
  4. We’re the pump boys of the band, flinging meatballs at your feet
  5. Pretty little wombat I adore
  6. It only burns when I pee
  7. I got no job but I’m an opera fan
  8. She’s got a chicken to hide, but she won’t share!
  9. Friday night I dressed your Barbie
  10. Cheese surprise, superstar, Show me frilly knickers and a see-through bra

Answers below:

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ANSWERS

1. Little red corvette by Prince

Real lyric:  Little red corvette, baby you’re much too fast….

Misheard:  Little wrinkled rat, baby you’re much too fat….

The story:  I caught my mum dancing around the house singing these words while vacuuming, and couldn’t help but crack myself laughing

2. I’ll Be There For You by  Bon Jovi

Real lyric:  I’ll be the water when you get thirsty, baby

Misheard:  I’ll be the water you give birth in baby..

The story:  My husband (who cannot carry a stinking tune) sang it around the house for years. One day I stopped him and said “what in H are you

sayin?? Died laughing when he told me all serious..luv that moron.

3.  Breathe by Faith Hill

Real lyric:  and baby all we need is just to be

Misheard:  and baby all we need is just a beer

The story:  I thought all country music songs talked about horses and beer. 🙂

4. Down on the Corner by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Real lyric:  Willy and the poor boys are playing; Bring a nickel; tap your feet.

Misheard:  We’re the pump boys of the band, flinging meatballs at your feet

The story:  Up until this moment I never realized WHAT the real words were!

5. My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder

Real lyric:  Pretty little one that I adore

Misheard:  Pretty little wombat I adore

The story: I assumed, I really assumed, it was all about a beloved pet marsupial, and the song was along the lines of Michael Jackson singing about a rat called Ben.

6. Breathe by Melissa Etheridge

Real lyric:  It only hurts when I breathe

Misheard:  It only burns when I pee

The story:  Somehow I managed to figure this one out on my own before I totally wrecked my pride. Good thing too. I sang it that way to myself for years without realizing how stupid it was. Figured it was just one of those weird rock star things.

7. Tubthumping by Chumbawamba

Real lyric:  I get knocked down but I get up again

Misheard:  I got no job but I’m an opera fan

The story:  I just thought that those were the lyrics it’s not really embarrassing.

8. Ticket To Ride by The Beatles

Real lyric:  She’s got a ticket to ride, but she don’t care!

Misheard: She’s got a chicken to hide, but she won’t share!

The story:  This song was actually not misheard by me, but my big brother told me it. We were discussing misheard lyrics by dinner, and my brother pulled this one out. It was just so epic it had to be shared!

9. You May Be Right by Billy Joel

Real lyric:  Friday night I crashed your party

Misheard:  Friday night I dressed your Barbie

The story:  I came up with the Barbie thing when I was seven or eight and it was the theme song for a sitcom based on Dave Barry’s columns. I realized that I was horrendously incorrect when I was in the car with my mom. The song came on and I burst out laughing. When I got my lungs functioning again I told her what was so funny…she almost drove off the road.

10. Jesus Christ, Superstar Soundtrack

Real lyric:  Jesus Christ Superstar, Do you think you are what they say you are?

Misheard:  Cheese surprise, superstar, Show me frilly knickers and a see-through bra

The story: I couldn’t understand the singers properly and was convinced that they were singing those lyrics. My friends found it hilarious when I told them

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I have a new nephew!

My great-nephew actually, son of my nephew and godson Martin and his Angela.  His name is Martin John Junior, but I nicknamed him Bo.

And here he is!

I nicknamed him Bo because….

Okay, sit back, get comfortable.  When they said he’d be a Junior, I said we’ve done that already.  Then you have Little Marty, Big Marty, then he won’t want to be Martin some day because he’s too old for that, so and so forth.  Since many people in my family have a nickname, I said maybe he’ll be born with some feature that will cause him to have a nickname.  Like, if he had big lips, we could call him Jagger.  If he had big ears, we could call him Dumbo or Bo for short.  Then when he’s grown and his friends asked him how he got his name, he’d have an amusing anecdote.

Then I said, “I like that name Bo!”  And so he was.  In the family anyway.

Bo and his whole family: Big brother Miles, daddy Martin, and mommy Angela

I can’t get over how well Angela is doing!  Up all night after 16 hours of labor, and she’s sitting up, dressed, happily talking with everyone!

Father and son:

Look at him!

Bo, Daddy, and Mommy:

I’m already his favorite aunt; you can just tell.  I sing him the best lullaby ever, although he’s pretty mellow and only fussed 1 time.  I brought a camera with a fully charged battery.

And I gave him that great nickname.

Okay, he may not have a favorite, but we’re tight, Bo and me.

When he goes home tomorrow night, he’ll be wrapped in the afghan my mom made for Martin when he was going home from the hospital.  So her first great-grandchild that she wasn’t here to see, born in the hospital where we had to say goodbye to her, will still carry her close to his heart.

Welcome to the family, Bo.  We’re so glad you’re here.

How to make a Mickey lamp post!

Mickey Lamp PostI’ve had requests for these instructions ever since I posted Birth of a Mickey Lamp.  Like I said in that post, our friend Gary made ours as well as several others.  They’re very popular in campgrounds as well as out front of homes; in fact, Linda asked me last December after touring Fort Wilderness (as part of a press event, lucky grumble grumble) if these lamp posts are a requirement in FW.  Why, yes they are.  You have to have a certain ratio of lamp posts per campground circle.

So help fill the quota and make your own Mickey lamp post!  You’ll need a few parts, some power tools, homeowners insurance that covers fires caused by your poor electrical wiring, someone standing by to call 911, and a strong thirst for magic and glory!

Or a friend like Gary to do it for you! (and no, I won’t give you his email address.  That’s not fair to him.)

Here are Gary’s instructions — I added some helpful comments    :


How to Make a Mickey Lamp

All the parts you need are available at Home Depot.

The Parts to make a Mickey Lamp Post

The Parts to make a Mickey Lamp Post

The key parts are:

Quantity Name Home Depot

Product Number

Price
1 12 inch acrylic globe 022678331576 $15.96
2 6 inch acrylic globes 022678331620 $5.89
1 Globe holder (fitter) 022618331569 $9.49

[If you’re having trouble finding them, scroll down towards the bottom of this post for more details on how to get them.  Now, to put it all together:]

1:  Begin with the 12 inch globe. Apply masking tape across the top of the globe along the center line in order to mark the centers for the holes needed to mount the smaller globes. Draw a line at the “top dead center” of the lamp and then measure down 4 inches on each side and make another mark. This will mark the centers for each ear hole, they should be 8 inches apart.

Mickey Lamp Step 1

2. Drill a small lead hole for each ear and then use a 3 ¼ inch hole saw to cut the ear holes.

Lamp Step 2

[Did you do it right?  If so, proceed to step 3.  If not, head back to Home Depot for more parts and go back to step 1.]

3.  Remove the tape and glue the smaller globes into these holes, clamp until the glue is set. (Gary uses LePage’s Flexible Plastic Cement.  It comes in a tube, like airplane glue or styrene glue.  We’re not sure if it’s available in the US or not, but any sort of styrene or acrylic cement should work just fine.  He prefers a squeeze tube since it’s easier to apply.)

Lamp step 3

[What?  You glued your hand to the lamp?  Fingernail polish remover will take care of that.  Go to a drugstore or supermarket.  Once you’re free, catch up to the rest of us in step 4.]

4.  Attach a standard plug to the globe fitter.

Lamp step 4

5. Now you need to attach the globe fitter to the post.  I used a 2 inch piece of ABS drain pipe as my post.  The mount is simply a connector which joins 2 pieces of this pipe.  First remove the three clamp screws from the fitter:

Lamp Step 5

[Gary said simply so you had no problems with that step. Right?]

6. Insert the ABS connector in the hole on the bottom of the globe fitter and drill small lead holes through the holes where you removed the clamp screws.

Lamp step 6

[You drilled through WHAT?  Oooooo. I hope you have bandages handy.  Moving on.]

7. Use small screws to attach the connector to the globe fitter.  This piece will now slide on and off the ABS drain pipe which will be your post.

Lamp step 7

[Even I can do that one, peeps.]

8.  Now drill a ½ inch hole about a foot from the bottom of the ABS pipe and feed the power cord up through the pole.  Add a female receptacle to the end of the cord and you are done.

[See, done!!

Well, not quite, but the rest is easy peasy.]

9. Plug the fitter into the female receptacle you just added, slide the globe fitter onto your post and install a 25 watt frosted light bulb.  Place the globe on the fitter and enjoy your lamp.

You will need to devise a base for the lamp.  I used a cast metal base for a patio umbrella (WalMart – about $20.00).  You simply use a chisel to knock off the nut which holds the retaining bolt and the ABS post slides over the post on the umbrella base.  I secure it with two long bolts and wing nuts.  Be sure that your base is heavy enough to prevent your lamp from blowing over.  The umbrella base has worked very well for me.

[Better than the base John and I first used.  It was too light, blew over, and smashed the Mickey head.  We had to beg Gary for his help again.  That’s why I can’t give you Gary’s email.  He changed it in case we broke this one.]

On my last few lamps I have added smaller bulbs to illuminate the ears as well as the larger globe.

10. Begin with a piece of metal strapping, about 4 inches long.  Bend about ¼ inch on each end so that the ends will create a “friction grip” on the flange of the 6” globe which is now visible inside the 12” globe.

Make 2 of these pieces, one for each of Mickey’s ears.

11. Cut a length of outdoor Christmas lights so that you have 2 socket and enough cord on one end to attach a plug.  Use pop-rivets to attach each socket to one of the metal straps you just made.  Attach a plug.

Your assembly should look like this.

Lamp step 11

12.  Here is a detailed look at the light socket riveted to the strap.  Note the 90 degree bends in the ends of the strap which provide a “friction grip” on the flanges of Mickey’s ears, inside the larger globe.   Bend them to provide a snug fit and just press them on.

Lamp step 12

ENJOY!

[Scoff at your friends and family that said you couldn’t do it!  Buy your friend who secretly did all the work a very nice gift!]

Here is more detail on the product codes (Home Depot) for the hard to get components:

12″ acrylic globe – SKU 312840

UPC 022678331576 Part # CP1265

Vendor – Adjusta Post  – Price $15.96

6″ acrylic globe – SKU 312884

UPC 022678331620 Part # CP3086

Vendor Adjusta Post – Price $5.89

Globe Fitter – SKU 348480

UPC 022678331569 Part #CP1721P

Vendor Adjusta Post – Price $9.49

If you cannot get them through your local Home Depot, perhaps your store can order them in for you or do a look-up to see if they are stocked in a nearby store. The Home Depot near the Florida Mall stocks all the parts and always has plenty on hand.  Details of that store: 7423 Southland Blvd., Orlando, FL 32809  (407) 859-3500

If all else fails, call the manufacturer Summit Lighting (a division of Adjusta Post), 3960 Summit Road, Barberton, OH 44203-1052.  Their Customer Service number is (800) 321-2132.  Maybe they can direct you to a retailer in your area.
Gary's Mickey Lamp Post————————————————————————————————-
Here is a picture of Gary’s finished lamp.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU to Gary for not only making our lamp post, but for nicely giving me these instructions to post!

Good luck to all those Mickey Lamp makers out there!  And once again, no I won’t give you Gary’s email address!

A friend asked to go to Disney with us.

It’ll be his first trip. That’s always exciting!

Yes, this is my way of telling everyone that Rico is now a part of our family!

Pam called me with the update on his last owner.  We had a little miscommunication yesterday.  His original people lost their home.  That’s when they gave Rico to their son and his girlfriend.  When they split up, the girlfriend said she’d keep him.

The original woman told Pam that she and her husband didn’t sleep at all last night because they were so upset over what happened to Rico.  They and their son -when they talked to this morning — all agree that obviously his ex-girlfriend stopped taking care of him and then dumped him in the woods, abandoning him, instead of calling any of them and saying she didn’t want him anymore.  Or, for that matter, calling a shelter.

They said they didn’t even want to contact her and give her the option of taking Rico back, but they couldn’t take him either.  “Can you find him a good home?” they asked Pam.  She said they sounded very anxious.

“I can do that very easily,” she told them and then called me.

Elphie laughed at me in these ears so I told her ppbbbttt!!

I let John know right away and we took all the dogs to Petco to get Rico a few things that he needed.

They're letting me stay. I can't believe it. I'm home.

So everyone’s doing well.

I told John that it’s so odd to still miss and mourn Morgan so much, and at at the same time, be excited about Rico.  But then, it’s all so different.  We swore we weren’t getting another dog after Morgan, that it’d be too much for Casey and no one is Morgan.  But Rico came into our lives a lot like she did; they’re so very different from each other except in one critical way: they found us after they had been abandoned and begged us to be the ones they could trust.

Morgan, thank you for leading me here. I'll be good to them.

Update on our little foundling

We started calling him Rico last night.  We each had ideas for names — the shelter names each pet — and John wanted something that sounded at least a bit Hispanic since he’s a chihuahua mix.  Rico is the only one we could agree on.

I should mention that a woman John works with originally found him and brought him into work.  John called me about talking to the shelter where I volunteer, with us offering to foster him while they found a new home.

First, we have to make sure he’s not just lost.  I called the pounds, vet offices, police departments… all asking if anyone reported him lost.  And I left our information so if someone called in, they could call us to get him back.

He was good in John’s van, immediately going in the back as if he had ridden in the van before.

We gave him a bath since he was dirty. He behaved beautifully in the tub, even cradling his head in my hand as I washed his ears.  He had VERY long toenails that looked like the pictures of those monks that grow them for 30 years.  They actually hurt his feet and made him limp.  We were going to trim them, but he was so tired after such a long day that we decided to let him alone.  Boy, can he snore!!  You can’t believe how loud this little body can be!

Elphie really likes him and is amazed that a dog is smaller than her.  He’s not fixed and first came off as “Helloooo, ladies!” But they told him, “Yeah, that’s not happening.” and everything was fine.  Casey is fine with him, except when he sleeps on her little blanket in her crate.

Pam from the shelter took him to the vet today for a wellness check.  People at work think he’s a chihuahua mix with Corgi, but Pam thinks he’s full chihuahua.

But now the plot thickens:

The vet found he has an ID chip, but the phone number gave a disconnect message.  Pam was going to go the address, but decided to check the number herself.  It gave her another number to call and here’s the story.

First, his name is — ready? – Ricky.  Oh the irony.

And he’s about 7 years old.

He belonged to a woman in our town who moved to Clementon.  She gave him to a friend of her son’s and DOESN’T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME!  She doesn’t want Ricky back, but doesn’t know if the son’s friend does.  She can’t explain how this little dog ended miles from home.

But!

The son doesn’t come home from work until 3 am.  She’ll call him in the morning and get the name & number of Ricky’s owner.  Pam will check out the place and ask the guy if he wants Ricky.  We all think that this guy dumped Ricky out in the woods.  He certainly didn’t take good care of him, but I do admit he did feed him.  He’s not starving.

So we’re waiting to here if Ricky’s going back.  I don’t like the idea; I don’t think this guy is taking care of him.  Unfortunately, if he says he wants his dog back, we have no say.

Poor little guy; no wonder Rico looks at us like any minute we’re kicking him out of the house.  No one has lived up to his trust so far.

We like Rico better, so that’s what I’m going to call him for now.

Pam also said someone at the vet wants to adopt him if he doesn’t go back to his owner.

Of course, we’ve already gotten attached.  John’s thinking though that if the person at the vet has no dog or only 1 dog, maybe they should get Rico….

Pam did say though, when John mentioned we really like him and he’s settling in her very well — letting us pick him up now, laying at our feet, playing with Elphie or snuggling on his little towel (as a blanket) — that she would give us first dibs because she knows we’d take good care of him.  And seeing how well he’s doing here.

Morgan’s only been gone a little under 6 weeks.  I still can’t look at her pictures without hurting.  I still see the void where she was.  Rico doesn’t fill that.

But he’d be different, a different place in our lives.  Another dog abandoned (if we’re right that this guy abandoned him) that found their way to us, shell shocked, trust shaky, with large eyes that look at us with the fear that we’ll turn on him too, shrinking into a corner while we whisper It’s okay, it’s okay….

But maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe we’re just the stop on the line and we should let him go.

And that’s IF this guy doesn’t take him back…

PS: John liked the name Rico for the hispanic sound, but I actually got the name from Penguins of Madagascar.  Then when I was giving him a bath, I kept talking soothingly to him to calm him.  I said, “You don’t know it, but your name is Rico…”  and it hit me. So I sang…

Your name is Rico

you’re a little dirty

with white and tan fur

and toenails out to there….

OMG, he just came to me for the first time to be petted.  I didn’t have to go to him.  And when I leaned down to pet him, he climbed into my lap and gave me kisses….

Lose a dog in Monroe Twp, NJ?

Lost Dog, originally uploaded by eblackwell.

This little guy was found in our town. He’s scared and would like to go home. Is he yours?

A vet will check tomorrow to see if he has a chip. Meanwhile, if he’s your dog, please contact me through the blog or contact the Oasis Animal Sanctuary. We’ll get this little sweetie back to you!

The Disney Magic at Cozumel during sunset



Disney Magic – Cozumel, originally uploaded by Woj Photography.

This photo is just so gorgeous. I wish they had it in a larger size to see more detail or a print. This would be a great gift for my cruise loving friends.